Looking for Truth in Onaway

    Many people react to comments they don’t like by screaming, “No! You’re wrong!” This is often followed by name-calling (see yesterday’s entry) and accusations. It’s easier to reject someone’s argument if you convince yourself that person is evil. Or stupid. Or whatever it takes. My practice is to give myself a cooling-off period when possible. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve dashed off a written response to someone--a letter, a FB post, an email, and then let it “sit” for a while. I usually delete it the next day. Anger doesn’t beat truth, no matter how much I’d like it to. I recall writing an incensed letter to one of my book editors once, telling her she’d overstepped her role and that it was my book and I’d write it the way I wanted to. The next day, when I thought it through and looked at the manuscript again, I saw that she was only telling me what readers were seeing. I actually had to go out to the mailbox, retrieve the letter, and tear it up. (I

      It’s really hard to resist. Some people, some behaviors, some situations, seem to cry out for a clever or apt nickname. Some are okay, like Broadway Joe or Slammin’ Sammy. Others are pejorative, meant to belittle or humiliate. Those are the ones you have to avoid. In a disagreement, it’s easy to resort to name-calling, but it’s an ignorant, nasty way to operate. Consider how childish a person has to be to argue, not with facts or information, but with attempts to hurt an opponent's feelings. It starts when we're young. A friend once confessed that all her life she felt like she was overweight because kids on the playground called her “Fatty Patty.” She was never overweight; I suppose it was the rhyme that appealed to kids, but only to those unkind enough to think hurting another person’s feelings is funny. For me it was kids who thought it was funny to call me "Piggy." Kids can be cruel, but let’s be real: they learn such behavior from adults who never r

 At Tuesday night’s board meeting, a comment was made by a board member that upset me. I don’t have it verbatim, but it was something like this: Old teachers shouldn’t be allowed to attend these meetings. Let me tell you about old teachers. They’re educated . In order to become teachers, they had to leave Onaway and see a bit of the outside world. They read . And they know how to read between the lines and figure out what someone isn’t saying; what they really mean. They care. After twenty, thirty, sometimes more years in the school system, they care about it. They know how the system works, and they know its flaws. One of the biggest problems a school can face is a board member (or four) with an agenda. Work on everything else tends to stop while this person (these people) rant about their favorite subjects, which are either wrong or don’t focus on real goals for improvement and advancement of all students. They know people . Like many former teachers, I taught every student

  I once had a student chastise me—gently, but sincerely—for telling my class that Richard the Lionheart might have been homosexual. It isn’t a big deal, except it’s one explanation for why he left no heirs, despite having a lovely bride. It meant we got his half-crazed brother John as king when Richard died. Hence the Magna Carta. The student stayed after class to share her opinion that kids (in this case 10 th graders) should only be told “good things” about famous people. History should be uplifting, she maintained, showing us how to be the best we can be. Knowing that came straight from her father’s mouth, I didn’t argue, but thanked her for her input. Too many are sliding into that mindset these days. According to some, it’s bad to admit that our country has faults. It makes students feel “ashamed” of their race and their heritage. I have issues with that mindset. First, truth is truth , no matter how much we might dislike it. I admired Bill Clinton as a President, but wh